Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos

I was pretty productive today despite the fact that I didn't get out of my workout clothes since my workout this morning.  Don't judge me, I didn't sweat buckets or anything since I went to a strength and conditioning class.  Thank God it wasn't Wednesday (WIWW).
  • I began planning for the school year (gross)
  • I did some laundry
  • I reorganized my desktop (<-- geek)
  • ...and I inherited lots of new music
How productive is that for never leaving the house?! I am going on vacation at the end of the week to California (AKA: the next best state other than Tejas), and I am thrilled to be going back.  My brother and his family invited me to tag along with them and I'm so very excited to have a great time in LA, Disneyland, San Francisco, and perhaps Yosemite National Park.  I may very well geek out when I meet Mickey Mouse and Belle, I've never been to Disney, and I think my early twenties is the perfect age to experience such magic, don't you? You bet there will be pictures to document the experience.
The beautiful city of Austin, Texas from one of my favorite spots on SoCo
 The real purpose of this is to share some thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships.  As you may already know, I recently experienced the break up of a long-distance relationship.  I think the first thought that pops into most people's heads is "the distance was too much to handle"  and they see this as the trigger of this break up.  I beg to differ.  Before this relationship I felt strongly about long-distance relationships (LDR) and after this relationship I feel just the same.  You can call me hopeful, I call it realistic.  I believe that love can surpass all, including distance.  Yes, it is difficult, and yes it is excruciating, and yes you will miss touch, but love can overcome those things.

I am willing to bet that there are readers who have known someone in a LDR that failed and the culprit of that relationship not working was the distance.  My recent trip to Austin, Texas, and my life experiences have confirmed my thoughts about LDR's.  You see, I think it's easy to place blame on the distance because this is something that won't cause the people in the relationship to dissect themselves.  "Oh, it was the distance, we just couldn't do it."  No, you absolutely could, you just chose not to.  Take the time to evaluate whether you are actually compatible as a couple, are you the best people for each other?  Is your brain thinking, "I know there may very well be someone better for me out there"?  

If you want to be with someone, despite distance, jobs, languages, and cultural barriers you find a way.  Love finds a way.  It's easy to google LDR's and be discouraged because of how clich√© it has become for a LDR to not work.  I think it's also important to note that all other aspects of a relationship must apply for a LDR to thrive.  For example, you may both be in a LDR, but you should be in it working towards the same vision or relationship goals.  Whether this goal is to end up in the same city after two years, or marriage, or continue dating for a year after you are in the same city.  Whatever your relationship vision is, it's important to be on the same page in your LDR and talk about it often.   

It may sound strange, but I find that there is something so utterly romantic about a healthy LDR.  Two people who love each other desperately, but cannot be in the same city planet(<--ha) country.  I know, I know, no one actually wants to be in a LDR, but I'm just sayin' it can be really romantic.  There's even a saying in Spanish that goes like this...
Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos, which loosely translates to, "love from afar is love for fools"
Doesn't sound promising, does it?  

You just have to be smart about it, and of course working towards the same things in the relationship.  But true love, the lasting kind, the love that is patient and kind and not jealous, that is the love that surpasses all, even distance.  You'll know...and risking your heart like that doesn't make you a fool.

P.S. Here's a better look at the Cat Eye mentioned in this morning's post.  
Gladys & I at The Oasis in ATX
Are you in a long-distance relationship, how do you make it work?
Do you believe that a LDR can work?

2 comments:

  1. Well, I agree that with today's modern day and age there is skype, video chat, text message, mobile phones and more. I would understand if in the past history with no lines of communication how difficult it would be. Therefore I don't find it a challenge to maintain an effective relationship due to distance. It is easy to begin a relationship and it takes work to maintain it. LDR or not if the couple work on it TOGETHER anything is possible. However relationships three main aspects are love, trust, and communication. I have seen good friends of mine obtain LDR and would mention each other being soul mates and eventually marry off into their own happily ever after. True and Real Love knows no boundaries.

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    1. Well said, anonymous. I absolutely agree.

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