Monday, July 2, 2012

Easier thought than said

Seems as thought I haven't posted in so long my friends.  I feel like I've abandoned y'all.  I just finished recapping on my blog stalking reading and realized that I wasn't the only one who didn't give a play by play of my weekend.  Others seemed to have a busy weekend too, or maybe they were just lazy.

As I last told y'all my Friday was crazy and it has been an eventful weekend.  Saturday my cousin got married!! Exciting! I was feeling anxious about it as I mentioned previously and I didn't quite understand why.  I should've enjoyed the wedding, but the weather was screwy and I suddenly became moody.  I had made plans about two months ago with my boyfriend at the time to come down and be my date for the wedding.  I was so very excited about us going together and him spending time with my family.  I think I was doing fine until so many people began to ask me about him.  It's difficult to tell others you are not together anymore, especially when you're in awkward public places and you aren't interested in voicing the event to your big Mexican family.  This happens to you too? Phew...thank goodness I'm not the only one ;)
I had no shame busting out my iPhone in the catholic church.  
I just know I haven't reached a place in my life where I can voice it to family as easily yet.  It all sounds so easy in my head, but when it's time to get the words out I can't do it.  One of those "easier said than done" situations, or rather "easier thought than said"?  Sometime after dinner at the reception my aunt (mother of the bride and my dad's sister) asked me why the boyfriend didn't make it to the wedding.  I took a deep breath, paused for about three seconds and cue in Spanish, "he's actually not my boyfriend anymore."  Awkward pat on the shoulder followed as I swallowed the enormous lump that filled my throat.  I was falling apart, but where was it all coming from, why was I so emotional all of sudden?! I was fine, really I was fine.  I walked over and convinced one of the caterers to cut me a piece of the groom's chocolate cake.  This girl needed some chocolate and badly.  So you can imagine how the rest of the night went as I dwelled on what once was now wasn't.  I just allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel and today I awoke feeling much better and slightly hungover from the emotional exhaustion.

He always said that I only get headaches when I don't allow myself to feel what I need to feel, and I guess I needed to feel sad last night.  The rainy, stormy weather didn't help the mood either.  Alanis Morissette would've said this wedding was ironic.

Let's lighten the mood of this post though, my hair was lookin' mighty fine despite the bad weather.
The cascade french braid
I blame the rainy weather this weekend for my sleeping in past noon today.  A warm cup of pomegranate green tea was calling my name and I splurged a little food-wise.  I swear my body was aching for some pasta.  I had a little bit of penne with shrimp, veggies, and a spicy tomato sauce.  So perfect.  One of my best friends later called me to join him for a late dinner, I rejected having dinner again, but did join him with a Shiner Bock.
In my Sunday lazy pants
Anyone else slightly intrigued by this Katy Perry movie?  

Not that I want to see it or anything...
Today I started one of those "Photo of the Day" challenges.  I am not usually that person, but July is my favorite month (birth month).  If you'd like to join me the list is below.  
July 1 - Self Portrait 
Questions of the day night:

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