Let's talk about how much time I have spent on my front porch since 3:30pm yesterday, or rather since this past week. My front porch has become a place of solidarity for me. A place for deep thoughts, for rejuvenation after a long day at work, for remembering to enjoy the simple things, the small things, the little pleasures that a stressful and hectic job can make you take for granted. I will miss this Louisiana town so much in a few months. This chapter of my life is ending and a new one is beginning in less than six months. Wherever I go, this front porch will be reminisced.
I would just like to preface this post by saying that my intentions are not to devalue men or women in their mid-twenties to early thirties, but to simply express some current observations and thoughts.
Lately my girlfriends and I have been discussing relationships, both old and current and I feel that many women in their twenties feel jaded towards men. I cannot speak for men, maybe they too feel jaded towards women. I have taken a slight noticing that many men do not seem to mature or as we, the women say, "grow up." I would hate to say this is only one gender, I am just speaking from a woman's point of view. It could possibly be that there are two extremes of people once we reach a certain post-adolescent age. One group being the group of individuals with mature thoughts, those that understand and acknowledge how to interact with the opposite sex fully. Courtship, dating, and not afraid of being "real" with other people. Providing clarity, communicating, and being courteous. If you are not interested in talking to someone anymore, tell them that. If you are not interested in dating someone, communicate that. If you are interested in someone, communicate your intentions to them. As humans, we (both sexes), want to understand the causes and effects of our interpersonal relationships. It is becoming more and more socially acceptable to simply allow ourselves to be ignored and to accept that and with time to let it go. I think this stems from a fear of rejection, both of rejecting someone else or of being the receiver of rejection. Easier said than done, right?
Thoughts on the above?
On a less serious note, here are some happenings from my week:
Beer on a Tuesday Night
Wine Down Wednesdays
Senior Class Ring Ceremony! Class of 2014
Eating like a true Louisiana girl, with the right reading material ;)
If you are one of my close friends, you may be receiving the post card below :) I love whales.
I've spent much of the last day and a half watching Girls. Have you heard of this show? If you haven't, it's about time you do. It premiered last April and season two premieres January 13th. Here is a quick preview to what the show is essentially about, go on, click, click, click.
The show follows the life of Hannah Horvath, a twenty-something trying to live the American dream in New York City. Hannah is a struggling writer working a non-paid internship in the city and living with her best friend, Marnie. The show begins with Hannah finding out that her parents are cutting her off financially, she soon has to leave her internship and her quarter life crisis essentially begins. The show also follows Hannah's two other friends, Jessa (a British girl) and her cousin, Shoshanna.
I quickly fell in love with the show because it is so well written. The main character, Lena Dunham (Hannah) is also the writer, creator, producer, and director of the show. Lena is only 26! Apparently she has a book of personal essays (much like her character in the show) releasing in the near future titled Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's Learned. Obviously, I will be checking this out and spilling my thoughts here once I get my hands on it.
There's nothing I love more than books and movies that feel real to me. I want to relate to a show and feel like the characters could be people I know in real life. Don't get me wrong, I like Sex and the City as much as the next girl, but I don't really share a life as glamorous as Carrie Bradshaw or Charlotte York, and Mr. Big is a little unrealistic. Gossip Girl is fun too, but life in the Upper East Side is far from relatable to my life, and probably yours too. Girls feels real, I actually have friends with issues like those in Hannah's life, everyone around me is going through a quarter-life crisis, and we don't all look like we stepped out of Vogue or Cosmo (looks or clothing wise). The show is graphic...it is on HBO after all, but then again so was Sex and the City. Unlike the super sexy content of Carrie Bradshaw's many encounters, Girls' feels much more raw and honest. Trust me.
Conclusion: check it out...like, yesterday right now. Season one is only ten episodes and they are all less than 30 minutes, making it super easy to get through. I really wish I had spaced out watching the episodes...I don't want it to end. It's just so good. Go get caught up, and once you do, check out what's to come January 13th when season two premieres!
Are you as obsessed with Girls as I am? Please don't make me feel alone here...
I want to move to the Pacific Northwest. I never thought I'd be saying those words. It's something that I never imagined. I always knew that I wanted to visit and in my heart I knew I would fall in love with all that it had to offer, but to move there?! I realize I'm too close to my family and love the comfort of all that is southern. I also know a part of me is missing something unwritten that will transcribe with a move across the country. I feel as thought I have had pieces to the puzzle all along, but it wasn't until this weekend that I saw how they fit.
I am so thankful, more than ever to be where I am in my life right now. The past year has been one of many changes and one thing I distinctly remember feeling in my last relationship was this...
My then boyfriend told me to follow wherever he was (location-wise) and insinuated at the thought that if I loved him I would go where he went after my commitment with Teach For America(TFA). It's funny how those thoughts and feelings were interpreted to me. It felt like the clock in my early twenties was ticking and post-TFA I had to be where he was (because that's what I knew he wanted) and if I loved him I would do so. <-- It makes me sick to even write that, but if you find yourself unable to relate to that sentence perhaps you haven't experienced that kind of love. When you do, I promise you'll understand. Before I was able to finish my commitment with Teach For America, my going where he went did not seem to be good enough. I remember feeling my heart break a little at the thought of not being able to choose a graduate school or take an opportunity based on what I had always imagined for myself. If that sounds selfish consider this: it is important when two people who love each other grow, understand, and support each other through our process of becoming. In order to love ourselves we must allow ourselves to become, and in order to love others we must love ourselves. While being together is important, I think it is necessary to support what the other wants, allowing you to nurture them, the relationship, and they themselves better. This may mean being together in the same city, or together (and not forever) but apart.
An evening sunset behind Mount Rainier
A part of me has wanted to apply to graduate schools and other opportunities out of the south, and just go somewhere unexpected. Washington state is exactly that--unexpected. I knew within about ten minutes of arriving to Seattle (err...maybe it was as I saw this beautiful sunset over Mount Rainier from the plane) that I saw myself living there.
If you've heard me rave about California, you may be thinking I am acting on instinct, but I can safely say that I like it at least three times better than I did California. A great part of it has to do with what I felt in Washington. The Seattle/Tacoma area felt completely laid back, beautiful, with perfect summer weather, and there was this lack of materialism that I didn't feel in California. All I know right now is my mind thinks about moving to Seattle all the time. It's on my mind, I'm making plans, and we will see where those thoughts take me.
Now for some nostalgia, here are some snapshots from my extended Labor Day weekend in Seattle with my wonderful friend and host Lisa. Expect some links to some amazing shots she took to come very soon.
I will leave you with a little something the beautiful Lisa left me with. Sadly we never got to hear it on our last adventure yesternight, but it is perfect.
Due to Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isaac, we have school closures all over Louisiana and I should be returning to work on Friday. Is it bad that I secretly hope we don't have to?!
I not so secretly hope that the storm damages are minor
More than anything, I don't want the storm to prevent flights from going out this weekend, specifically my flight on Saturday morning to Seattle to visit the sweet Lisa.
The roommates and I spent the morning being lazy, but we got our vinyasa flowing.
I plan on buying two drawer handles from Anthropologie.
Speaking of yoga...you have to see this video. Makes me laugh every time. It's perfectly perfect.
On a different note, yesterday was my ex-boyfriend's birthday. It's difficult not thinking of someone who you used to share everything with and not being able to share this moment anymore. Almost as if it shouldn't still mean something. I definitely remembered and definitely thought about it...all day. I didn't push myself to send an email until sometime after 10pm. Why was it so hard to press send?
Pressing send meant opening a line of communication again. Not pressing it would be easy, it would be fully letting it go. Or would it? Would letting go be pressing send and pouring the kindness that was in my heart? So I pressed it. I didn't expect the immediate response I received. And now, the question that lies is whether I'm ready to accept a friendship. Every kind fiber that resonates inside me wants to say yes, but something is holding me back from welcoming that friendship again. A huge part of it is that I haven't taken the time to truly feel all of the emotions from what once was. Yes, I am in a great place in comparison to where I was in May. Also, definitely much better than when I was in that relationship, but I still need to feel things I haven't felt. A part of me is afraid that a friendship with him will mean going back to where I was.
I fear being drained of my happiness, of my optimism, and of losing every part of me that I have begun to gain back in the last couple of months. Whether my associations with what once was are partly or completely fair, I still have them, I still fear what a friendship with him would mean. All I know is that I am vulnerable enough to admit that I don't think my heart is ready for that friendship right now.
The house is really coming along! We are quite the desperate housewives.
When teachers don't have to teach---Hurricane Isaac Party!
Taco Tuesday
Namaste from our dining room
What I wore Wednesday - T-Shirt, running shorts, no makeup.
We partied with the Biebs
Don't worry, I was wearing shorts underneath. The winds were getting pretty rough here.
I was pretty productive today despite the fact that I didn't get out of my workout clothes since my workout this morning. Don't judge me, I didn't sweat buckets or anything since I went to a strength and conditioning class. Thank God it wasn't Wednesday (WIWW).
I began planning for the school year (gross)
I did some laundry
I reorganized my desktop (<-- geek)
...and I inherited lots of new music
How productive is that for never leaving the house?! I am going on vacation at the end of the week to California (AKA: the next best state other than Tejas), and I am thrilled to be going back. My brother and his family invited me to tag along with them and I'm so very excited to have a great time in LA, Disneyland, San Francisco, and perhaps Yosemite National Park. I may very well geek out when I meet Mickey Mouse and Belle, I've never been to Disney, and I think my early twenties is the perfect age to experience such magic, don't you? You bet there will be pictures to document the experience.
The beautiful city of Austin, Texas from one of my favorite spots on SoCo
The real purpose of this is to share some thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships. As you may already know, I recently experienced the break up of a long-distance relationship. I think the first thought that pops into most people's heads is "the distance was too much to handle" and they see this as the trigger of this break up. I beg to differ. Before this relationship I felt strongly about long-distance relationships (LDR) and after this relationship I feel just the same. You can call me hopeful, I call it realistic. I believe that love can surpass all, including distance. Yes, it is difficult, and yes it is excruciating, and yes you will miss touch, but love can overcome those things.
I am willing to bet that there are readers who have known someone in a LDR that failed and the culprit of that relationship not working was the distance. My recent trip to Austin, Texas, and my life experiences have confirmed my thoughts about LDR's. You see, I think it's easy to place blame on the distance because this is something that won't cause the people in the relationship to dissect themselves. "Oh, it was the distance, we just couldn't do it." No, you absolutely could, you just chose not to. Take the time to evaluate whether you are actually compatible as a couple, are you the best people for each other? Is your brain thinking, "I know there may very well be someone better for me out there"?
If you want to be with someone, despite distance, jobs, languages, and cultural barriers you find a way. Love finds a way. It's easy to google LDR's and be discouraged because of how cliché it has become for a LDR to not work. I think it's also important to note that all other aspects of a relationship must apply for a LDR to thrive. For example, you may both be in a LDR, but you should be in it working towards the same vision or relationship goals. Whether this goal is to end up in the same city after two years, or marriage, or continue dating for a year after you are in the same city. Whatever your relationship vision is, it's important to be on the same page in your LDR and talk about it often.
It may sound strange, but I find that there is something so utterly romantic about a healthy LDR. Two people who love each other desperately, but cannot be in the same cityplanet(<--ha) country. I know, I know, no one actually wants to be in a LDR, but I'm just sayin' it can be really romantic. There's even a saying in Spanish that goes like this...
Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos, which loosely translates to, "love from afar is love for fools"
Doesn't sound promising, does it?
You just have to be smart about it, and of course working towards the same things in the relationship. But true love, the lasting kind, the love that is patient and kind and not jealous, that is the love that surpasses all, even distance. You'll know...and risking your heart like that doesn't make you a fool.
P.S. Here's a better look at the Cat Eye mentioned in this morning's post.
Gladys & I at The Oasis in ATX
Are you in a long-distance relationship, how do you make it work?
Excuse the changes currently occurring on my blog. I'm changing some things around to make it easier to navigate and more aesthetically pleasing as well. There will be more links at the top in a couple of days. Not all the links are ready yet, so please bear with me. I'll be working on FAQ, About Me, etc. so that it can be ready soon enough.
For now, let's talk about the brain. Ah yes, that beautiful piece of grey matter that fills our skull. I love learning about the human brain, I can geek out about it at any given moment. My favorite class in college was a learning and cognition class that focused on the human brain. I now have a guilty pleasure for buying books and reading articles in my spare time on the noggin'. Two books that I must recommend to y'all are the following:
These are absolutely fascinating and are written in a non-textbook format, so you won't feel like you are reading for class or anything. I love that they are organized into chapters such as: the teenage brain, the daddy brain, the mommy brain, etc. There are no crazy terms in there (well, maybe some) and Dr. Brizendine does an awesome job explaining things.
So why all this talk about the brain you ask? I was thinking about how well I've been doing since my breakup and it made me ask myself, "Why? Should't I be feeling different? Worse, perhaps?" I don't think anything is wrong with me, and believe me, I am extremely thankful for being a great place in my life right now. All of these questions and feelings are what brought my attention to love and the human brain. You see, according to my previous knowledge there are three main types of love:
Eros Love - also known as erotic love. These are those crazy, love-at-first-sight, honey moon stage, hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, so call me maybe-love. It is said that this isn't true love, and unless you get through hardships and sacrifices then it can be long-lasting. It is completely natural to begin a relationship with Eros.
PhiliosLove - is the friends before relationship kind of love. These relationships tend to last longer because of the strong bond you have already established prior to the romance. There is a definite give and take expectation with Philios love.
Agape Love - the ideal love, it is unconditional love. Agape love is completely selfless, one can be hurt or insulted and still love at the end. With Agape you love another without seeking anything in return and it is said to be completely spiritual.
If asked I would say that with my last relationship there wasn't an Eros feeling on my behalf, and to be truthful I don't think I ever had it. I wouldn't say this is necessarily a bad thing, but rather love grew from a friendship and from qualities that I found extremely attractive in this person. I think that my brain wanted the Philios love, but got confused when this boy decided to skip the friend zone and immediately show physical signs of attraction to me. So, even though I didn't have Eros, but there was a friendship prior to our relationship we ended up somewhere in a limbo between love types 1 and 2.
Here is where things shifted. At the start of our relationship I would say that we were both in a "give and take" stage, and to a certain extent we do expect something in return from our romantic partner. Otherwise we become emotionally exhausted and lose a sense of our worth. If I do this, then I expect this. We were definitely in this stage for awhile, but had different interpretations for "doing" (cue the love languages), but that is for another time my friends. It wasn't until about a year into our relationship that I consciously began to change, I didn't want to lose this person that I had grown to love. I wanted to love him the very best that I could. I think this is when I slowly transitioned into the Agape stage. I must say that prior to this, he had already started his journey towards this selfless love, but began to refrain from it when it became emotionally exhausting for him.
I began to dedicate so much of myself to bettering the way that I loved him. Would this make him happy? If I do this will I hurt his feelings? I should go do this for him, but I don't expect him to do the same for me anymore. Parts of this were healthy, and I was truly trying to love as best as I knew how with every particle of my being...until it wasn't anymore. It became about giving so much of myself, and loving despite pain and suffering. You could see how this could be healthy, if it was a two-way street. I was on a one-way road at this point, with faded street signs and pot holes everywhere. He was in Philios and I was in Agape (or attempting to).
No one is a victim here, especially not me, and I really hope that is not how this reflection comes across. I am simply analyzing what I learn as I process through this break up. In a recent study (source) it was found that the same part of the brain is activated when you experience rejection from love and when you are physically burned. When you experience heart break you are burned emotionally, isn't that fascinating? It is also said in this study that feelings of romantic love and rejection are associated with biology. In other words, there is a link between love and the biological need to pass on our genes. Our brains do crazy things, such as causing extreme emotional pain when experiencing rejection from a person we may have identified as a potential mate.
In a nutshell: love is truly complicated.
After analyzing and over analyzing my relationship in the past couple of paragraphs, the best thing I can say to move forward is this:
While I truly felt love for this person and had feelings of being "in love," biology may be preventing my brain from experiencing extreme emotional pain and it may just be my biological needs whispering "get over it!" to my brain.
Seems as thought I haven't posted in so long my friends. I feel like I've abandoned y'all. I just finished recapping on my blog stalking reading and realized that I wasn't the only one who didn't give a play by play of my weekend. Others seemed to have a busy weekend too, or maybe they were just lazy.
As I last told y'all my Friday was crazy and it has been an eventful weekend. Saturday my cousin got married!! Exciting! I was feeling anxious about it as I mentioned previously and I didn't quite understand why. I should've enjoyed the wedding, but the weather was screwy and I suddenly became moody. I had made plans about two months ago with my boyfriend at the time to come down and be my date for the wedding. I was so very excited about us going together and him spending time with my family. I think I was doing fine until so many people began to ask me about him. It's difficult to tell others you are not together anymore, especially when you're in awkward public places and you aren't interested in voicing the event to your big Mexican family. This happens to you too? Phew...thank goodness I'm not the only one ;)
I had no shame busting out my iPhone in the catholic church.
I just know I haven't reached a place in my life where I can voice it to family as easily yet. It all sounds so easy in my head, but when it's time to get the words out I can't do it. One of those "easier said than done" situations, or rather "easier thought than said"? Sometime after dinner at the reception my aunt (mother of the bride and my dad's sister) asked me why the boyfriend didn't make it to the wedding. I took a deep breath, paused for about three seconds and cue in Spanish, "he's actually not my boyfriend anymore." Awkward pat on the shoulder followed as I swallowed the enormous lump that filled my throat. I was falling apart, but where was it all coming from, why was I so emotional all of sudden?! I was fine, really I was fine. I walked over and convinced one of the caterers to cut me a piece of the groom's chocolate cake. This girl needed some chocolate and badly. So you can imagine how the rest of the night went as I dwelled on what once was now wasn't. I just allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel and today I awoke feeling much better and slightly hungover from the emotional exhaustion.
He always said that I only get headaches when I don't allow myself to feel what I need to feel, and I guess I needed to feel sad last night. The rainy, stormy weather didn't help the mood either. Alanis Morissette would've said this wedding was ironic.
Let's lighten the mood of this post though, my hair was lookin' mighty fine despite the bad weather.
The cascade french braid
I blame the rainy weather this weekend for my sleeping in past noon today. A warm cup of pomegranate green tea was calling my name and I splurged a little food-wise. I swear my body was aching for some pasta. I had a little bit of penne with shrimp, veggies, and a spicy tomato sauce. So perfect. One of my best friends later called me to join him for a late dinner, I rejected having dinner again, but did join him with a Shiner Bock.
In my Sunday lazy pants
Anyone else slightly intrigued by this Katy Perry movie?
Not that I want to see it or anything...
Today I started one of those "Photo of the Day" challenges. I am not usually that person, but July is my favorite month (birth month). If you'd like to join me the list is below.
If you are a person in a relationship or someone who has been in a relationship in the past, ponder this: have you ever realized how far your relationship actually extends? I am talking about a relationship between two people, a romantic one, love, amore, the whole enchilada. Take my previous relationship, I dated this guy for more than a year and a half. My longest relationship post-high school and truly serious one to be frank. A lot happens in a year and a half, especially after a switch er neuron er something goes off in your head telling you that the relationship has long-term potential, I mean really long-term potential, as in marriage.
In my big Mexican family you don't exactly bring boys home, not with a father like mine. In 21 years of my life I NEVER brought a boy home to meet my family, not even friends, not even for prom. You just don't do it. It took about 6 months into my relationship to realize that I wanted my family to A. know about this guy and B. to meet him. I'm talking just my mom and dad, not the WHOLE family. Just to communicate the differences in cultures this boy introduced me to his parents about a month into our relationship. A month seemed crazy to me, and completely unacceptable in my belief. You barely know someone after a month, have you even fought, what if it doesn't last? But, then again I learned a long time ago to respect these differences in culture, which is why I have probably been so accepted by my fellow peers of other races.
So, six months into the relationship I told my mom about it and then I mentioned how I wanted her and my dad to meet the boyfriend. They met over dinner and a couple of months later he came home with me from college to meet my entire family. Not just my brothers, sister-in-laws, nephews, and nieces, but cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandmothers. It was too much, but he loved it. He was officially attached and the relationship was officially extended. Not only did he now have a relationship with me, but he had a relationship with my mother, inside jokes with my uncle, nerd-bonding with my brother, and an endearing love with my grandmother.
Mexicans take you in as if you're family. They feed you (a lot), and love you, and hug you, and kiss you as if you've been there their whole life. They pay for your food, and make you feel welcome. I think my family did a pretty good job of making the boyfriend feel welcome. Don't think the family saw him all the time, because for the greater portion of our relationship I was in Louisiana, he was in Austin, Texas, and my family was in the Rio Grande Valley (RGV) in Texas. However, because my family is a priority of mine and yes I would choose my family over the boyfriend (after all he wasn't my husband) I would go see them whenever I could. The boyfriend would meet me in the RGV and his bonds with my family would continue as if he never left.
If you're wondering what the relationships looked like on the other end I would tell you that they were not extended. I met his parents (who I love) and when I lived in Austin it became sort of a tradition to all have dinner together on Sunday evenings. These dinners were always my favorite because sadly my entire family was never able to experience this as I was growing up, or now even. Due to my family's business and the busy schedules we might have dinner with half the family but never the entire family. I digress...his younger sister and I met as well, and she's lovely to be around, I wish I got to spend more time with her. Thank God there is social media to keep us connected. I met his grandmother once, and a cousin or two. That's it. There was not really an extended relationship and I'm not sure if it is just a cultural difference between latinos and whites, or if our families were just very different. Any insight, anyone?
So now, a month after the break up I am experiencing, or rather, looking to experience the effects of the extended relationship. I feel like there is a certain obligation that comes with a break up. An obligation to the family. After all, you didn't just have a relationship with the other person, but maybe with his/her parents, brother, sister, etc. If it is a person in the family that you will likely not be speaking to or even seeing after the relationship the courteous thing to do is give them and yourself closure. It is important to have boundaries, but who says you can't send a text to that person if you saw something that will remind you of your ex's mother, sister, etc. All within reason of course. It doesn't have to be as personal as a text but perhaps a Facebook message, Twitter DM, or another form of social media outlet. I think it's important to set a boundary after the relationship is over, but it doesn't mean you have to let the family go as well. You didn't break up with the family.
How do you get this closure though? By sending a card (via snail mail), making a phone call if you're capable enough, sending a text message, or using a social media outlet. I would argue and say that you have no obligation to make this closure as personal as you can. In fact, I think that the less personal the better. I couldn't do a phone call for example. But, if this is the only way to reach your ex-girlfriend's mother than do it. Or send a simple card by mail. What are you supposed to say? You don't have to give the family any explanation over the breakup. Remember, the conversation is not about the break up, it's about your relationship with them. A simple, "I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I appreciated how welcoming you were to me. It has been great to have you in my life and although the current circumstances will place some distance between us please know that you can always contact me for anything." Something short and sweet, if you'd like to keep the relationship open (meaning they can contact you), make sure you're clear about that. If you'd rather close it, make sure you don't say something that will welcome them back into your life down the road.
I'm the type of person who doesn't like to close any relationships. My old beau from high school and I are still friends, it took two years of distancing each other before we could be friends, but we are. After some time to heal and grow I definitely believe in keeping doors open and not closing them. You can put a screen on the door and keep some room for airflow. You just never know. I'm not saying that your past relationship will result in a new best friend and I'm sure my case is a rare one, but who says you can't be friends or even civil acquaintances after?
As for me, I have done this with the boyfriend's family. I think my mom is wondering what to do, but it's not her place to do this, but his. If she feels the need to contact him for closure I respect that, but in all honesty it should be the other way around. As for the rest of my family, I don't think it's really necessary to send notes or make phone calls, but it is going to be hard. I've already had family ask me how to spell his name to add him to wedding invites and guest lits. At the time I didn't have the heart to say that we were no longer dating. The words literally wouldn't come out of my mouth. I'm having more and more of these encounters and I have to learn to just say it and not breakdown about it. Thank God for my sweet grandmother with short-term memory loss. You see, she would always ask about him ever since she saw him with me. Since I've been home this summer she's seen me, but no boy. Bless her heart for not bringing him up anymore, maybe she got a feeling, or he just left her memory. Maybe...
I'd like to sincerely thank everyone who has been reading this blog. No matter what part of the country you're in or what part of the world. I feel blessed to know what there are others who benefit from what I write. I enjoy blogging so much, but more than anything I hope to inspire you. If you've enjoyed reading this please share it with someone else and of course keep reading. Thank you, danke, gracias, merci, grazie, dank u, спасибі, благодарю, asante, शुक्रिया.
I will leave you all with a song that got in my head when I wrote "whole enchilada" up there. I used to listen to this all the time when I had Sirius XM Satellite radio in my car. I sure miss XM radio, it was awesome. This song would always come out on the Coffeehouse station. Here ya go...
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