Monday, July 9, 2012

"Fear is the enemy of love"

This is written for you.  
For the person inside you who is scared.
I know who you are, and as you read this I hope that you know that I am aware of your fear.
That it belongs to you.
You are much too far for me to reach out and take it away, and even if I could, fear is not something I can grasp with my bare hands and tear apart.

I wish it was like that, though.  Easy to tear, like small fibers that shred to little pieces and can be aggressively destroyed.  But, it's not. It's much more complex than that, stronger than fibers, stronger than wood, and similar to those tiny weeds that keep popping up in the front yard.  Those obnoxious ones that ruin the aesthetically pleasing uniformity of the sidewalk.

You're not alone though, at least we now know that we harbor at least one of the same feelings.  Does it not kill you though, knowing that because we keep avoiding the obvious we are only nurturing this four letter word (and not the better of the two)?  We are giving it strength, making our minds think it is stronger than us.  After all the time that has passed between us...through boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends, new friends, here we are...

Here we are.  Fear has kept us captive, prisoners, lying to us.  It is winning and we are losing.  Losing something in the process, losing the ability to embrace the unknown.  It is keeping us from questioning the impossible.

Is this the greatest fear of your life, because it is the greatest in mine? It always has been, even when I've chosen to ignore it and let the years go by.  I only found that by ignoring it for years I only gave it shelter.  The fear kept me from simply speaking to you, I think it did the same to you too.

If our eyes could speak, than a thousand words would have been exchanged.  If our eyes could speak, fear would be defeated.  It may be difficult to face this fear alone, but we are two.  Together we can look fear in the eye, and choose to forget about what makes sense.  We can choose.

So tonight, I ask you, to choose.

It took one sentence to inspire this letter.  

2 comments:

  1. Laurita,

    Just wanted you to know that I have been really enjoying reading your blog and felt it was high time I left you a comment! This post is especially timely as well since I literally last night had the cathartic experience of admitting love to someone that I have been afraid to tell. Anyway, keep up the writing :)
    Love ya darling!

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    1. Thanks Naomi! It means a lot to me that you've been reading. So brave of you to confess your feelings. But you did the very thing you should have, overcame fear. It's admirable :)
      <3 you.

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