Friday, August 31, 2012

"Om namah shivaya" and WIWW

Thoughts from my Wednesday and Thursday:
  • Due to Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isaac, we have school closures all over Louisiana and I should be returning to work on Friday.  Is it bad that I secretly hope we don't have to?!
  • I not so secretly hope that the storm damages are minor 
  • More than anything, I don't want the storm to prevent flights from going out this weekend, specifically my flight on Saturday morning to Seattle to visit the sweet Lisa.  
  • The roommates and I spent the morning being lazy, but we got our vinyasa flowing. 
  • I plan on buying two drawer handles from Anthropologie. 
Speaking of have to see this video.  Makes me laugh every time.  It's perfectly perfect.  

On a different note, yesterday was my ex-boyfriend's birthday.  It's difficult not thinking of someone who you used to share everything with and not being able to share this moment anymore.  Almost as if it shouldn't still mean something.  I definitely remembered and definitely thought about it...all day.  I didn't push myself to send an email until sometime after 10pm.  Why was it so hard to press send? 

Pressing send meant opening a line of communication again.  Not pressing it would be easy, it would be fully letting it go.  Or would it?  Would letting go be pressing send and pouring the kindness that was in my heart?  So I pressed it.  I didn't expect the immediate response I received.  And now, the question that lies is whether I'm ready to accept a friendship.  Every kind fiber that resonates inside me wants to say yes, but something is holding me back from welcoming that friendship again.  A huge part of it is that I haven't taken the time to truly feel all of the emotions from what once was.  Yes, I am in a great place in comparison to where I was in May.  Also, definitely much better than when I was in that relationship, but I still need to feel things I haven't felt.  A part of me is afraid that a friendship with him will mean going back to where I was.  

I fear being drained of my happiness, of my optimism, and of losing every part of me that I have begun to gain back in the last couple of months.  Whether my associations with what once was are partly or completely fair, I still have them, I still fear what a friendship with him would mean.  All I know is that I am vulnerable enough to admit that I don't think my heart is ready for that friendship right now.  

The house is really coming along! We are quite the desperate housewives. 
When teachers don't have to teach---Hurricane Isaac Party! 
Taco Tuesday
Namaste from our dining room
What I wore Wednesday - T-Shirt, running shorts, no makeup. 
We partied with the Biebs
Don't worry, I was wearing shorts underneath.  The winds were getting pretty rough here.
What we wear when we go out in a hurricane. 


  1. THAT'S WHERE YOU LIVE?! Ummm, why am I not the one visiting you? HAHA