Transitions // Dignity // Forgiveness

I'm getting SO excited as the summer comes to a close.  I remember getting anxiety, sadness, nostalgia, and about a thousand other not so great feelings last year and the year before that around this time.  It truly makes me thankful and eternally grateful for where my life is going.  I am attempting to appreciate every day and the little things that come with preparing for my new journey to St. Louis.

More than anything I'm excited to start my new part-time job as a graduate fellow with the office of Residential Life.  I've always loved mentoring others and working with young adults.  The excitement of starting college as a freshman is contagious and I cannot wait to share it with incoming students at Washington University.  Second, I just LOVE the program I have enrolled in and it excites me that my hands-on learning begins in the spring semester.  I have the ability to customize my own program based on my future career goals, which if I haven't talked about are rural education and non-profit management.  I also plan to explore the idea of school social work.  The possibilities are endless...

On a different note and a little something more personal I'd like to touch base on apologies.  I think those of us that are most prideful (I am guilty of this) understand that apologizing is hard to do.  A good apology, one that comes from the heart, swallowing that pride, whether a year or five years after should always be appreciated.  Sometimes people don't realize they need to apologize and sometimes it takes time for that apology to be honest.  In my eyes, a genuine apology deserves forgiveness, and forgiveness requires vulnerability and grace.

I am referring to all of this here because recently someone that I used to know reached out to me for reconnection and most importantly with a much needed apology.  I almost considered not opening the e-mail and simply deleting it, but after reading it I was thankful and am eternally grateful for that apology.  I think it was the apology that gave that chapter in my life the closure that was necessary.  The reconnection however, is something I cannot do.  The reconnection is not about a lack of forgiveness or about pride, but about dignity.  Six months ago, or even eight months ago I may have considered accepting reconnection out of politeness.  I have realized, however, that for my own mental health and self-respect I choose to not reconnect.  To this person: thank you, sincerely, for the apology, and I hope you can respect my decision.