Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Every Minute of it

Thank you for the reminder, Julie. 
Thanks, wifey.
A friend sent me the Jack Kerouac quote this morning because she said it reminded her of me.  I couldn't help but grin really wide to myself and nod in agreement.  It's true, I really am in love with my life these days.  With every minute of it.  It feels absolutely incredible to hear myself say that, because life for me was so different a year ago.  A year ago I would not have said the same thing.  A year ago I was getting used to kind of liking going to work.  A year ago I lived alone.  A year ago I had maybe three friends in my new life in Louisiana.  A year ago I had a boyfriend.  A year ago I wasn't living.  A year ago I didn't love who I was or where I was.  But now, I love it all.  

For the first time since I have been teaching in Louisiana I have had three consecutive days of sadness.  Genuine sadness that stems from the thought of not being here in June.  Sadness from leaving my students here and feeling selfish for leaving them to pursue other dreams of mine.  I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility for my students and the relationships I have created with the people that have become like a family to me.  My students, their lives, and the community they have welcomed me into have been an emotional catharsis for my early twenties.   

A year ago I thought I would be ready to cut all ties with Louisiana come May 2013, but I am beginning to think I may tie a knot instead, only to have it untied upon my return.  I don't think I can say goodbye anymore...

Surprised? Me too.

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