"Fear is the enemy of love"

This is written for you.  
For the person inside you who is scared.
I know who you are, and as you read this I hope that you know that I am aware of your fear.
That it belongs to you.
You are much too far for me to reach out and take it away, and even if I could, fear is not something I can grasp with my bare hands and tear apart.

I wish it was like that, though.  Easy to tear, like small fibers that shred to little pieces and can be aggressively destroyed.  But, it's not. It's much more complex than that, stronger than fibers, stronger than wood, and similar to those tiny weeds that keep popping up in the front yard.  Those obnoxious ones that ruin the aesthetically pleasing uniformity of the sidewalk.

You're not alone though, at least we now know that we harbor at least one of the same feelings.  Does it not kill you though, knowing that because we keep avoiding the obvious we are only nurturing this four letter word (and not the better of the two)?  We are giving it strength, making our minds think it is stronger than us.  After all the time that has passed between us...through boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends, new friends, here we are...

Here we are.  Fear has kept us captive, prisoners, lying to us.  It is winning and we are losing.  Losing something in the process, losing the ability to embrace the unknown.  It is keeping us from questioning the impossible.

Is this the greatest fear of your life, because it is the greatest in mine? It always has been, even when I've chosen to ignore it and let the years go by.  I only found that by ignoring it for years I only gave it shelter.  The fear kept me from simply speaking to you, I think it did the same to you too.

If our eyes could speak, than a thousand words would have been exchanged.  If our eyes could speak, fear would be defeated.  It may be difficult to face this fear alone, but we are two.  Together we can look fear in the eye, and choose to forget about what makes sense.  We can choose.

So tonight, I ask you, to choose.

It took one sentence to inspire this letter.  

"A Stolen Life" Stole My Heart

Guess what? I already read "A Stolen Life" cover to cover! Can you believe it?  I didn't stay up too late last night, but I am a little tired as I write this.  The book was just so interesting that I couldn't put it down.  I think part of it is due to the fact that it is a memoir and these things written really did happen to this poor girl.

Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped at the age of eleven and was held captive for eighteen years.

I love the approach that this book takes.  You feel as if you are reading Jaycee's journals in a way.  She writes her story as she remembers it and in between are short reflections that you get to experience about the memory she is writing about.  There are a lot of pictures throughout the book as well, pictures of where she was held captive, journals she wrote, and of herself as a kid.

Can you imagine leaving everything you've ever known at the age of eleven? Spending more time with your kidnappers than with your own family? Jaycee writes this story as a part of her therapy.  What I find extremely admirable is how strong Jaycee appears to be.  Never once does she come from a place of anger or resentment.

It is an absolutely incredible story to read, a true miracle that she remained alive.  It makes me wonder how many girls like Jaycee do not make it back to their families.  Jaycee probably wouldn't have if it wasn't for what happened to her at the end.  When kidnapped at such a young age one becomes dependent on their captors, for this is your means of survival.  You begin to look forward to the human contact with them and they become all you know.  I feel like with Jaycee, her captivity produced a Stockholm effect in ways that took her as far as protecting the two people who stole her life.

This story is not for the faint of heart, it is difficult to read at times, but I strongly recommend it for anyone who is looking to just care. 


Have you read "A Stolen Life"? 
What is your favorite memoir?

"Everybody but me"

Anxiety, it's getting to me.  I'm not ready for the summer to be over, but I think it's officially time that I begin planning for the next school year.  I really want the next month to go by extra slow.  First of all, I'm not sure what classes I'm teaching.  Maybe Spanish I, maybe Spanish II, maybe both.  All I know is that my school is officially changing to a Block schedule, so I will only have three classes and one off period.  For my foreign readers, the traditional American schedule would've been a total of around 6 different classes and one off period.  School will begin earlier at around 7:30am but we will release at 2:35pm (HALLELUJAH).  I'm sure there are perks to only have three classes in a day, but my biggest concern is teaching for more than an hour and keeping those high school students on task.  I have got to plan effectively, especially since their class will only be a semester course and not a full year course anymore.  I have to be better than I was last year, and I have to make sure my behavior management is excellent.  I hope to have an official update on what my schedule will look like by midweek so that I can begin my planning.  At least through the first unit would be AWESOME!
Any other stressed teachers out there?! 
Suggestions?
I hope you enjoyed reading about some of my favorite brews here and here, but better yet I hope you had a cold one in my honor this weekend.  I'm craving a Lazy Magnolia Summer Pecan and am hoping to find one in the Lone Star state soon!

I am starting a new book soon (like as-soon-as-I-am-done-blogging-soon) called "A Stolen Life" by Jaycee Dugard.  It's a memoir, I go through phases with books.  Sometimes young adult fiction, nonfiction, psychology related books, new fiction, old fiction, classics.  I'm going through a memoir phase, I like knowing that they are true stories about real people.  I read "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls last month, such a good read.  It's about how she and her siblings lived most of their young lives in poverty and their journey about how they got themselves out of it.  "A Stolen Life" is about Jaycee's experience after she was kidnapped.  It's supposed to be very raw and powerful to read.  I am looking forward to it so definitely expect a post-read review.

Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped at the age of eleven.  This is her story about her powerful experience.

Best part of my Sunday though? Having a tiny cup of ice-cream.  I'm not a huge ice-cream fan, I prefer frozen yogurt or a savory treat almost any day.  But sometimes, only sometimes do I get a mega jones-craving for ice-cream.  The good stuff.  Like Marble Slab Birthday Cake ice-cream with sprinkles on top.  Sprinkles rock, okay? They are all about presentation, and to me they present my ice-cream in a beautiful please-eat-me-now sort of way.

Birthday Cake ice-cream with colored sprinkles 

Remember how I told you that I'd let ya know if this was a good song? Well I finally had a good listen and decided I really like it.  I will usually listen to the song once, find it alright, and then go look up the lyrics and decide whether it is better than alright.  I heard it, read the lyrics, heard it a second time and decided it was definitely better than alright.  Really love this verse:

Everybody want safety (safety love)
Everybody want comfort (comfort love)
Everybody want certain (certain love)
Everybody but me

Goes to show us how important it is to step out of your comfort zone and just "dance".  I love how beautiful the video is. So much talent is shared with the viewers of this video, but my favorite is the final scene with the New York City Ballet, being a former dancer myself I am a bit biased :)
I hope you enjoy watching the video below!

 How was your Sunday? 
Got any memoir recommendations?